I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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