Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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