i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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