grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
