i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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