Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
