Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
