where am i from again
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
