You can't special order awesome
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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