I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
