glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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