PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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