Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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