i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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