I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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