oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
