she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
