the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
