Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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