My Higher Power is John Stamos
I could make wine with my vomit
accomplished twins. life is a go
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
