i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
