garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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