i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
