I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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