why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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