Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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