make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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