We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
