I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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