he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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