I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So many bounce houses so little time
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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