On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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