two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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