if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
