She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
