i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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