At least make sure they are 18
Why
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
