dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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