that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
