all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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