I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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