Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
