Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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