I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
