yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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