she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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