So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
