Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
