I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
