If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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