Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
