That's intense
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
