i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
