It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
