i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
