you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
