so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
