where am i from again
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
